So it turns out the other day wasn’t a fluke. This morning after shovelling snow, having a shower, and dressing for work, I managed to spill most of my tea all down the front of my nice new jeans. You know, the only ones that actually fit me since having lost 15 pounds (don’t worry, it’s a good thing). The ones that make me feel really good wearing them. I also got tea all over the new seat cushion I just bought.
I stood there for a second in disbelief and then…….okay, I’ll admit a few expletives left my mouth. I felt my heart start to hammer, my chest get tight, and my stomach knot up. And I stood there in a big puddle of tea fumbling around for my wedge. I gotta admit I nearly dropped it too, but I got a grip on it and jammed it in the space again.
Even while I was rushing to grab paper towels to try to sop up the mess I was trying to calm my body. I have to say that frantic action and calming my body are NOT something I would ever have thought possible to experience at the same time. Well, because I never have. Until now.
While I cleaned I breathed. I know, what a concept right? I became acutely aware that before I would probably have been holding my breath the whole time. So I cleaned and breathed. Cleaned and breathed. At some point the motion of wiping became somehow calming.
By the time the mess was cleaned up I was miraculously feeling grateful. WHAAAAAT?? I know it’s freaking me out too. I was feeling grateful for the fact that I had lots of time before I had to go to work (thanks to cancellations this morning) so I could actually wash my jeans right away to save them. I was also grateful for the fact that I have a nice warm and cozy house in which to spill tea and actually care to clean up the mess. I was grateful that I had more tea to make myself another cup. I was grateful for having another pair of pants to put on. I was just so grateful.
And so yet again I moved on with my day without berating myself. Okay, I did have one brief moment of feeling down on myself for the expletives that left my mouth, but I figure it’ll be a good long while before I’ll have the equanimity to skip that part. Or maybe not. Who knows? Today the potential seems endless!
