I am currently going through a major life transition, and I have to say it is a gut-wrenchingly painful experience. My emotions have run the entire spectrum from one end to the other and I’m, quite frankly, exhausted. But just when I feel like I can’t take another step forward a friend steps in to boost me up.
I have had people in my life who have offered me so much recently. One friend held me while I ugly cried as I came to the realization that I had to make this transition and that it was going to be horribly painful. Another friend has whisked me off to her cottage for some tranquil recuperation right when I needed it. In fact I am writing this blog while enjoying a view of the mist on the lake that inspired me to put my feelings into words. Another opened her home and her arms to me when I needed to escape the house for the weekends.
Many friends have listened with kindness and compassion while I ranted and railed, questioned and cried, faced fears and insecurity, and celebrated the victories. I even have a friend lending moral support and cheering me on from halfway around the world. Clients have offered me kitchen gear, several friends and acquaintances have offered to help me move, and one even came over to take a monster treadmill apart for me so I can get it out of the basement. Another offered to paint my kids’ new rooms. Friends have even offered to help put together Ikea furniture for me, including drawers. You know people really love you when they offer to do that!
From a financial perspective I have been able to buy a new home that I absolutely love and furnish it with things that will give me joy. I have been able to secure the financing I need, and I have adequate credit to make big purchases. I have been able to work with amazing professionals through this whole process due to small business connections I have made over the years.
Because of all of the above, I have often found myself thinking lately, “Wow, I’m so lucky”. I’m so lucky to have such amazing friends, to have the financial ability to move forward in comfort, and to have such wonderful professionals to work with. But at some point I stepped back and realized something very important. None of this happened by luck. Lucky is winning a card game. Lucky is when the ball bounces just the right way so you can tuck it in the goal.
What’s happening right now is not luck. What’s happening right now has been consciously cultivated. Not generally being someone to pat myself on the back, it has been a bit of a struggle to come to this realization. I have the financial means to move forward because I have made conscious decisions to live within my means and to save diligently. I have amazing professionals around me because I have cultivated connections in the small business community by sharing, supporting, and celebrating their successes.
I have friends who are so generous with their time and their hearts because I have nurtured these relationships. I have let myself be vulnerable and opened my heart to these people and they are reciprocating in kind. I have been there for them and now they are there for me. I have supported them and been their cheerleader so now they are mine. I have held them while they cried and so now they cradle me in their love.
I am working on accepting the fact that all of this benevolence has been cultivated by choices I have made. I have chosen kindness and compassion as often as I could. I have chosen to build others up. I have chosen vulnerability. I have chosen love.
So no, I am not lucky. What I am is extremely grateful. Thank you to all of the wonderful people in my life. Your love and support is what is keeping me going right now and what will keep me afloat in the coming weeks. I appreciate you more than anything in this world.
