ICYMI my word of 2023 is HONOUR. Here’s how that’s coming along.
What I have convinced myself I should be doing this morning is going to get an air fryer. I have not had a working oven in two months and the needed part is nowhere in sight. So like the logical person I am, I spent hours researching air fryers to see if it would be worth the investment (ie would I use it even after I got my oven working). I decided it would and then I found a great deal on the one I wanted. The small catch is it’ll be close to a one hour round trip to go get it.
I decidedly don’t feel like going but I tell myself I should. I tell myself I’m tired of just cooking on the stovetop. I convince myself that fries will be worth it. I tell myself the kids will love it. I guilt myself over the money I will miss out on saving if I don’t go take advantage of this deal right now.
The problem is my body and spirit are tellling me they need something completely different this morning. I am feeling decidedly off despite a good sleep and a peaceful house all to myself.
And so I find myself here, sitting on a log in a wooded area close to my home with tears streaming down my cheeks. It appears my inner child is in a lot of pain today and I have decided to HONOUR that.
I know there is still a lot of shit to deal with way down inside and the only way out is through. So I sit quietly feeling the healing power of the forest with Tibetan singing bowls ringing in my ears, letting the tears drop freely into the snow. Lots of tears.
And it is so very healing. I return feeling more whole. Feeling so grateful to have this beautiful woods so close to home. Feeling grateful for having the space to work through these big emotions. And feeling grateful for those of you who understand that crying in the woods is not a bad thing. That it is not to be pitied nor does it require sympathy.
It is pure empowerment. It is me taking hold of my own life and finding out just how awesome it can be when it is not being strangled by the past. It’s just me learning to love ALL the parts of me. And it’s about time.
